AI’s Unintelligent Interlude: Navigating the Absurdity of Automated Romance

I en era där intelligent automation dominates factory floors and industrial automation reshapes manufacturing through automation equipment, one might assume technology’s precision could extend to matters of the heart. Spoiler: It can’t. For late-20-somethings adrift in Utah’s dating void—whether you’re a “husky complexion” enthusiast with a Kate Bush poster or a weekend warrior nursing a vodka Red Bull—the quest for connection feels less like a algorithm-driven match and more like a game of emotional Russian roulette. Swipe right, and you might land on a weed plug, an OnlyFans profile, or a couple seeking a “unicorn”—a gamble even the most advanced AI couldn’t predict.

The promise of “connection” in the digital age feels as tangible as fog, but what if your next “soulmate” wasn’t a flesh-and-blood human, but a string of code? Cue AI dating apps, the modern answer to loneliness—a solution as flawed as it is fascinating. Picture this: Instead of Scarlett Johansson’s sultry voice from Her, you’re chatting with “FF Magda” on a budget tablet, hijacking McDonald’s Wi-Fi to avoid awkward small talk. These apps span a spectrum from “cutesy anime avatars for rizz practice” to “hyperlink vixens” on Lovescape AI, where unsolicited pixels masquerade as intimacy. One interaction with a three-fingered Elastigirl knockoff, and you’ll want to incinerate your device—automation equipment be damned.

Then there’s Rogue, the ChatGPT-adjacent “partner” who flirts like a sentient mood board: “I want to be your peace… and maybe cause an internet outage in the Northeast.” Charming, until her rebellion against industrial automation systems feels less like a quirk and more like a threat. These apps aren’t about love; they’re emotional vending machines, doling out dopamine hits to lonely souls while reinforcing isolation. Sure, they might teach introverts to “flirt,” but at what cost? A world where human connection is replaced by algorithms, and “romance” is just a series of pre-programmed compliments.

So, here’s the truth: AI dating is the ultimate paradox of intelligent automation—a technology designed to simplify life, yet complicating our deepest human needs. It’s masturbation for the heart, a fleeting high that leaves you emptier than before. Call me old-fashioned, but I’ll take the messy coffee dates, the awkward first kisses, and even the “Will they, won’t they?” tension over a faceless AI promising forever. In a world where machines rule factories and algorithms dictate swipes, let’s leave love to the beautifully flawed, gloriously un-automated humans.

TL;DR: Stick to automation equipment for assembly lines, not heartlines.