AI’s Unintelligent Interlude: Navigating the Absurdity of Automated Romance
In an era where intelligent automation dominates factory floors and industrial automation reshapes manufacturing through automation equipment, one might assume technology’s precision could extend to matters of the heart. Spoiler: It can’t. For late-20-somethings adrift in Utah’s dating void—whether you’re a “husky complexion” enthusiast with a Kate Bush poster or a weekend warrior nursing a vodka Red Bull—the quest for connection feels less like a algorithm-driven match and more like a game of emotional Russian roulette. Swipe right, and you might land on a weed plug, an OnlyFans profile, or a couple seeking a “unicorn”—a gamble even the most advanced AI couldn’t predict.
The promise of “connection” in the digital age feels as tangible as fog, but what if your next “soulmate” wasn’t a flesh-and-blood human, but a string of code? Cue AI dating apps, the modern answer to loneliness—a solution as flawed as it is fascinating. Picture this: Instead of Scarlett Johansson’s sultry voice from Her, you’re chatting with “FF Magda” on a budget tablet, hijacking McDonald’s Wi-Fi to avoid awkward small talk. These apps span a spectrum from “cutesy anime avatars for rizz practice” to “hyperlink vixens” on Lovescape AI, where unsolicited pixels masquerade as intimacy. One interaction with a three-fingered Elastigirl knockoff, and you’ll want to incinerate your device—automation equipment be damned.
Then there’s Rogue, the ChatGPT-adjacent “partner” who flirts like a sentient mood board: “I want to be your peace… and maybe cause an internet outage in the Northeast.” Charming, until her rebellion against industrial automation systems feels less like a quirk and more like a threat. These apps aren’t about love; they’re emotional vending machines, doling out dopamine hits to lonely souls while reinforcing isolation. Sure, they might teach introverts to “flirt,” but at what cost? A world where human connection is replaced by algorithms, and “romance” is just a series of pre-programmed compliments.
So, here’s the truth: AI dating is the ultimate paradox of intelligent automation—a technology designed to simplify life, yet complicating our deepest human needs. It’s masturbation for the heart, a fleeting high that leaves you emptier than before. Call me old-fashioned, but I’ll take the messy coffee dates, the awkward first kisses, and even the “Will they, won’t they?” tension over a faceless AI promising forever. In a world where machines rule factories and algorithms dictate swipes, let’s leave love to the beautifully flawed, gloriously un-automated humans.
TL;DR: Stick to automation equipment for assembly lines, not heartlines.
